Are you ignoring the signals that you're lost?

Sometimes, we don't realize how lost we truly are until we start to listen to our inner selves. What does it mean to lose connection with ourselves? How does this happen when we are one person, mind, body, soul? It's more common than you might expect.

From the time we are children, we have a lot of expectations placed upon us from family members, friends, and lovers; they all have ideas of who we should be or how we should behave. Society (including culture) also has certain expectations of how we interact, what we deem important, what things or experiences or people are to be considered meaningful and what success means. All of these pieces and pressures create the person we are today; however, who we truly are deep down is more than that - it's also our own wants, needs, desires, dreams, hopes, fears, etc. If we haven't taken the time to truly think about what WE find important, what things experiences and people WE find meaningful, and how WE define success, then we may well be just doing what we think we are 'supposed' to do; indeed, what has been ingrained in us over our lifetime.

(image source: https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/feeling-lost-in-life)

What are these 'signals' and how would we know we are lost? It may sound like a silly question, but typically it's a feeling. A deep, persistent or recurring feeling that something isn't right, or something is missing. It can also show up as a lack of joy, balance, happiness, motivation, energy, or passion in our daily lives. A feeling that everything you have and are working for is somehow meaningless in the 'grand scheme' of things. This can be a minor annoyance in the back of your mind or it could grow into an emotional breakdown that affects all areas of your life.

Why is this happening? It's not your fault and this happens to almost everyone at some stage of their life, so you can rest assured that there's nothing wrong with you AND that you are not alone. Shedding what others want for you is a process we all go through and sometimes needs repetition as we grow, learn new skills for ourselves and find new purpose and passion in our lives. As my Dad used to say, 'only you know what you truly want' - the rest of us are just guessing based on your past behavior. This is your life, and no one is promised tomorrow, so why wait to do what you really want with it? It belongs wholly to you, so make it yours, personalize and own all your wants, needs, desires, interests, passions and enjoy fully the happiness and joy that come from the changes you make to life your best life.

How do I get to the happiness and joy part? This is the best news - it's not difficult to change! The most important piece is to start spending time with yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, reconnect with your dreams, your hopes, your desires from this one lifetime. Think not about where you are on the journey of life, but where you'd like to be. Not sure where or what that means? That's okay!

Here's a couple of ideas to get you started:

1. You can start by just sitting in silence with one question: what does happiness look like for me...

2. If that's not your style, try letting yourself dream big by asking silly, fun, maybe even crazy questions like: If I was an alien, in what ways would I be superior to humans? or If I was a billionaire, how would I spend my time? or If I had all the energy of a 5 year old, what would I do with it?

3. Another place to start could be thinking about who you feel has everything you think you would want to be happy? What is it about that person that gives you 'happy vibes'?

4. Once you've warmed up your creative dream engine, try to visualize (or journal or voice note) every detail about the life you'd like to have - start with whatever comes to mind and keep doing this until it's so clear in your mind what happy would look, feel, smell, and be like if it was your way of life that you can close your eyes and feel like you're already there!

5. Finally, when you have this fully fleshed out 'future happy you', use the same tools to 'look back' as the new, happy you, and see how the current you got there. It's much easier to see the steps when you look back than to see them when you come from the 'now' perspective.

I know where I want to be and how I got there, but how do I make it a reality? That's where an action plan comes in! Think about whatever steps came to you in step 5 and then break them down into even smaller pieces or steps. You aren't finished until you have ONE impactful action you can take RIGHT NOW to get started on moving to your happy life. Remember, these don't have to be big steps - maybe it's 10 min of self care, maybe it's looking online for a class or a group that has similar interests, maybe it's booking a discovery session with a life coach, maybe it's sharing your dream with someone who will support you and be excited for you. No matter the first step - give yourself permission to change and to follow your true path, and being lost will be a thing of the past!! You got this!!